Happy birthday to Danny Trejo, who’s, well, whatever age he says he is — fuck, I’m not trying to tell him anything.
Happy 49th birthday to Stephen Colbert, our greatest patriot.
Alex Van Halen is 60 today. Hopefully he’s wearing a shirt.
Phil Campbell, also known as Wizzö, has been the lead guitarist for Motörhead since 1983. As such, he’s no doubt seen shit that you couldn’t even imagine. “Phil Campbell” is also the name of a town in Alabama. It is named after an Englishman, but not the same one. Happy 52nd, Wizzö.
Little-known fact: As part of Wille Mays’ contract, he had two white guys to help him get dressed before every game. Also, dude was ripped. Happy 83rd, Willie.
Happy 38th birthday to squeaky-voiced football legend David Beckham, who looked like this before all the tattoos and hair products (and, you know, puberty).
Giancarlo Esposito was born in 1958, which would have made him 31 when he played Buggin’ Out in Spike Lee’s 1989 magnum opus Do The Right Thing. He turns 55 today. Got your boycott right here.
Jason Lee turned 43 today. Before he became an actor, he was one hell of a street skater. You should probably watch this.
October 19, 2006 was a long time ago. Carlos Beltran is no longer a Met, Shea Stadium is no longer standing. But this still hurts. Ah well, happy 36th, ‘Los.
Valerie Bertinelli, born on the same exact day as Def Leppard guitarist “Steamin’” Steve Clark, wound up marrying Eddie Van Halen. COINCIDENCE? Yeah, probably. Happy 53rd, Valerie. Watch the leg.